


The Marine in the Muck

by gumboy



Category: Bones (TV), NCIS
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Just for Laughs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumboy/pseuds/gumboy
Summary: When the body of a marine is found on federal land it's going to take the best teams from the FBI, NCIS and the Jeffersonian in order to catch the killer.Hopefully they'll catch the killer before Booth punches DiNozzo.





	1. Chapter 1

"I don't know what that means."

Booth sighed. "You know Bones, you really need to get another TV."

"All I'm saying is that you cannot literally dance with stars. The vacuum of space prohibits-"

"Dr. Brennan? I found something."

Booth had never been happier to have an interruption from Zack before. Currently he and Cam were knee deep in a dumpster with a badly decomposed body. He was holding up a jaw bone.

Bones and Zack immediately started speaking squint. Something about the amount of teeth, the length of the mandible-something-or-other and... well frankly to Booth it all sounded like when an adult in a Charlie Brown TV special starts talking. "Can someone say that in English?" he pleaded.

"Male. Probably in his late twenties," Bones said taking the bone from Zack and examining it closer.

"Then why didn't you say that?" Booth grumbled as he started taking notes.

"I just did," Bones replied.

"I can confirm that," Cam piped up as she held up something in an evidence bag that was metallic and... ew. Gooey. "He's 27. Annnnd a corporal in the Marines."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" Bones asked in a mild and yet still challenging manner.

"Dog tags," Cam replied cheerfully. "Which unfortunately means this is not our case."

Booth groaned. "Really?"

"Already called them. They're on there way."

Booth groaned again as Bones blinked in confusion. "I don't understand. Who's coming?"

"Any death involving military personnel falls under the jurisdiction of the military law enforcement agency," Zack replied as he fished out another bone from the goop in the dumpster.

"Well who is that then?" Bones asked.

"NCIS," Booth muttered. "Naval Criminal Investigative Service. Which means-"

"Well if it isn't the very Special Agent Seely Booth."

Booth gritted his teeth and turned to look at the man in the blue NCIS jacket and was smiling at him. And not in a kind way.

"You know. DiNozzo, I really hate the way you call me special."

"Which way is that?" the woman with the dark hair standing next to DiNozzo.

"In the way that sounds like he took a short bus to school," said the other agent hauling all the gear. "Hey Booth."

"McGee," Booth replied in greeting. "Who's the rookie?"

"Officer Ziva David," she replied cooly. "Next time you can ask me yourself. And why is a short bus special?"

"Oh! I believe I know," Bones replied pulling her attention away from the mandible-thing. "I believe that he's implying that Booth took a short bus to school which implies he has limited intelligence."

"Gee. Thanks for explaining that, Bones," Booth replied with much sarcasm.

"You're welcome," Bones replied completely missing the sarcasm.

DiNozzo's smile got a little brighter at that exchange. Booth really wanted to punch him in the teeth. "Where's Gibbs?"

"Right behind you."

Booth hated when he did that. He turned to find Gibbs with an ever so small smile on his face. And two cups of coffee. One of which Gibbs handed to Booth.

"Booth."

"Gibbs. Looks like we have jurisdiction issue."

"He's a marine. That makes it NCIS."

"Federal land is FBI territory."

Gibbs shrugged and took a sip of coffee. "Of course my boss has already talked to your boss."

"Of course she has. What have they come up with?"

"Joint investigation."

Booth grimaced at that. "Swell."

"What does that mean, Boss?" DiNozzo asked suddenly all respectful.

"It means if you give Agent Booth any crap I'm going to smack you in the head," Gibbs replied.

DiNozzo's expression was grumpy and sad. Which made Booth smile (As well as McGee and David). "Thanks Gibbs."

"My pleasure. Where's Ducky?"

"Right here Gibbs. I apologize. I let Mr. Palmer take Dupont Circle. Oh! Dr. Brennan. Lovely to see you again."

"Dr. Mallard," Bones said in a tone usually reserved for people who have her respect. "I read your recent paper on-"

Booth stood there as Bones and this "Ducky" guy started to exchange squinty information about a paper and then the victim. "You catching any of this?" he asked Gibbs.

"I think the guy in the dumpster is dead," Gibbs replied lightly. 

"Good observation, Boss."

"Shut up, DiNozzo. Ducky?"

"The state of the remains will require additional time and resources to go through," Ducky replied cheerfully. "As this is a joint investigation, I would suggest that we take advantage of the Jeffersonian resources."

"Especially since we have more experience and are better funded than NCIS," Bones added which made everyone wince slightly at the abrasiveness of the comment. Well... everyone but Zack.

"Do you mind if my people observe your people do their work?" Gibbs asked.

"I have no problem with that," Bones said with a shrug.

"And neither do I since I am after all, your boss," Cam added dryly.

"Sounds like a plan!" Booth said clapping his hands. "So. Are we just taking the body or the entire dumpster."

"The entire dumpster," Zack and Bones replied in unison.

"I don't know why I even bothered to ask," Booth said with a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

"You like him."

Booth was trying to navigate DC traffic so he wasn't quite following Bones' line of thinking.

"Like who? DiNozzo? No way."

"Not him. Gibbs," Bones replied as she looked out the window. "When he showed up your body posture changed. It was more open unlike with the others where you tried to be more menacing."

"Menacing? I was menacing?"

"Well when Agent DiNozzo appeared you were postulating more, trying to appear bigger and stronger which is not uncommon with dominant males in the same age group when somebody challenges their authority."

"Can you spare me the anthropology babble?"

Sorry, Booth. Bones was on a roll. "But when Gibbs showed up you relaxed and seemed more at ease even though you were at odds in the situation."

Booth shrugged it off. "He brought me coffee. Plus he's not half bad considering he's a jarhead."

"I don't know what that means."

Booth sighed. "He's a marine, Bones. It's another way to call him a marine."

"Oh, I see. And since you both share a military background that conveys a mutual respect," Bones said in an understanding."

"Well, yeah. There's that. Plus he was also a sniper, like me. It takes a certain mental discipline to be a sniper."

"Oh! So you can both relate to being killers."

Ugh. Booth instantly regretted mentioning the sniper thing.

"Don't call me a killer, Bones."

"But you both killed people for a living."

"Just... Just don't, okay?!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Look, all I'm saying is that a museum is not the place to investigate a crime."

McGee rolled his eyes but didn't take them off his monitor. Tony was off on a tangent again instead of doing any real work.

"They have the best forensic anthropologists in the world, Tony. We're lucky they're helping us."

And Ziva was enabling him.

"But these are people who _work_ in a museum. Archie Bunker's TV is in the same place as their labs. How is this a place to investigate a crime?"

"Who is Archie Bunker and why would he be watching a TV in a museum? That just seems rude."

McGee raised his head slightly to see Tony's visible reaction of disgust to Ziva's comment. "How do you not know who Archie Bunker is?"

"Because she doesn't watch American TV, Tony," McGee commented in a weary tone. How often did they have this conversation?

"I think Tony doesn't want to go to the museum because he has mommy issues," Ziva said with a shrug as she turned her attention to a report.

And now McGee and Tony were giving her a strange look. And then the two of them shared a look.

"Do you want to ask?" 

McGee shook his head. "I've had enough of your mommy issues."

That earned McGee a glare from Tony. No doubt McGee would have another patented DiNozzo revenge prank performed on him before the end of the week.

"I thought I was pretty clear," Ziva commented. "You know. Dead bodies that were embalmed and wrapped in linen."

"Mummies," Tony said correcting her.

"That's what I said."

"Look, I do not have mommy or mummy issues."

"Though it would certainly explain a lot of things," Gibbs said striding into the land of cubicles. He had a full cup of coffee and planted himself in front of the monitor. "What do we have?"

"Sergeant Reginald Schultz," Ziva said getting up from her desk to join Gibbs at the monitor as McGee brought up pictures and records for them to review. "Member of the Ammunition & Explosive Ordnance Disposal team out of Quantico. Enlisted at 18. Stationed at Camp Pendleton where he received his initial training. Did two tours of Afghanistan where he was awarded the Bronze and Silver star."

"Good old Sergeant Schultz," Tony drawled as he joined the crew at the monitors. "However this one probably knows quite a few things and could never be bribed with chocolate."

That earned him a few blank stares from the rest of the team.

"Hogan Heroes. What? Doesn't anybody watch TV?"

"Do you have anything relevant to add, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked with a tone of warning in his voice.

"Sure thing, Boss," Tony said quickly. "Checked through his service record which was squeaky clean until about two months ago. He was written up by his duty officer for having a brawl with another sergeant by the name of Jordan Barclay. Two weeks later he went AWOL."

"Got his cell phone and credit activity. All ceased and desisted the day he was reported AWOL," McGee added.

"Any family?" Gibbs asked.

"Just his sister and parents back in California," McGee answered.

"All right then," Gibbs said after a sip of coffee. "Tony and Ziva, you interview the officer and the guy he mixed it up with. Bring along Agent Booth,"

Tony groaned. Much to Ziva's amusement.

"Play nice, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned.

"Who? Me? I'm the nicest."

Gibbs clearly doubted that. Which is why he gave Tony an extra glare before turning his attention to McGee. "McGee, you and Abby are going to the Jeffersonian to work with their team and to supervise their gathering of evidence. Ducky is already there working with Dr. Brennan. Any questions?"

"What are you going to do, Boss?" Tony asked in a oh-so-brown-nosy way.

"I'm going to be looking over your shoulder to make sure you don't embarass me in front of the FBI," Gibbs said grabbing his back. "Get your gear. Let's move out."

"Looks like someone needs extra supervision," Ziva teased.

"Is that an offer, Officer David?" Tony quipped back.

McGee sighed and rolled his eyes. Those two so needed a room.


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs stood in the back of the room, letting the team do their thing. Ducky and the Brennan woman were going over what was left of the body while Dr. Saroyan, the kid Zack, some guy named Hodgins and Abby poked around the debris looking for evidence. Much of it was over his head.

He'd have Abby explain it later.

"Pretty digusting, huh?"

He turned to see a young woman with dark hair smiling at him. "Most dead bodies usually are. Miss...?"

"Montenegro," she replied shaking his hand. "Angela Montenegro."

"Agent Gibbs" he replied giving her a small smile. "You understand anything they're saying?"

"No but I usually make them explain it to me later," she said with a shrug.

"You're not one of them?"

"God no!" she said with a laugh. "I'm just a forensic artist as well as their computer geek. I put a face to the bones and data to the blood soaked phone or computer."

"Impressive," Gibbs said with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course here I can't do anything."

"Why is that?"

"We know the victim's identity already," she said pulling up her tablet and showing Gibbs an image of the marine. "No need to do so."

"I disagree," Gibbs said shaking his head.

"Based on what?"

Gibbs shrugged. "My gut."

Angela laughed. "That won't get you far in this room."

"What won't get him far, Angela?" Brennan called out from where she was examining the victim's feet.

"His gut," Angela replied giving Gibbs a knowing look. "Agent Gibbs thinks we should do a sketch of the victim's face to make sure it's him."

"You would do well to listen to him," Ducky said not even looking up from some bone on the hand.

"It's true. Gibbs' gut is legendary," Abby added as she swabbed something.

"While I usually disregard instinct, I've learned from Agent Booth that some people do have certain instincts that while empirically do not make sense that sometimes they can be correct. Do you have a picture of the victim?"

"Sure," Angela said as she turned the tablet around so Brennan could see the image.

She took a few moments to study the picture before turning to the body. "Mr. Addy, would you hold up the skull so I could have a better look?"

The kid with the unkempt hair held it up and for the next two minutes Brennan rattled off something about Zygo-something arches, mandibles and the length of something or other.

"Anyone want to tell me what that means?" Gibbs asked.

"It means your gut is correct, Agent Gibbs," Brennan said returning to inspect the victim's feet. "Whoever this man is, it is not the one pictured here."

"Does that mean this isn't NCIS's case anymore?" The Zack-kid asked.

"On the contrary," Ducky said pointing to the legs and feet where he started talking about remodeling where he was interrupted by Brennan and the two came to some kind of conclusion.

"I'll ask this time," Angela said giving Gibbs a smirk. "What are you talking about?"

"The victim has systemic injuries common to those in the military," Brennan said in English.

"Then why didn't you just say that?" Gibbs asked.

"She just did," Ducky said giving Gibbs an amused look.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Anyone know where I can get some coffee?"

"Come with me," Angela said taking his arm. "I can show you the best place for coffee.


	5. Chapter 5

"All right. All we got to do now is load the particulates in the old mass spec and-"

Jack paused and gave the visitor a bewildered look as she suddenly squealed in delight.

"Are you okay?"

Abby looked like a girl in a candy store. "You. Have. The Thermo Scientific Trace GC Ultra?!"

Jack chuckled. "Well of course! Only the best for the Jeffersonian."

Abby sighed as she opened the door and looked inside. "Dual injectors! Three dectors combined with the TRACE platform?! Do you know how bad I want one of these bad boys?"

"Would you like a moment alone with it?" Jack teased.

Abby gave him a look of amusement. "You leave me alone with this, I'm putting it in my car the first second I get."

Jack shrugged. "I won't say anything if you do."

"Don't tempt me," Abby said stroking the mass spec lovingly. "Honestly though, I don't think the major would be very happy with me if I brought in another mass spec."

"Major?"

"Major Mass Spectrometer."

Jack stood there silent and completely confused.

"I named my mass spectrometer. It helps when he's being unhelpful to call him by name."

Okay. Jack had been with weirder women before. He shrugged it off. "I may have to do that the next time this guy decides to give me inconclusive results."

"Be gentle with it, Dr. Hodgins," Abby warned. "They have very sensitive personalities."

Jack let out a laugh as he loaded up the sample into the device. "Well I imagine they-"

Abby interrupted Jack once again with a squeal of delight. "Holy crap! You have the Ultra VisionX comparison microscope! You are so lucky!"

Jack shrugged and smiled. "Never thought about it that way."

Abby sighed and leaned on the mass spec. "Any chance you guys can adopt me?"


End file.
